Your Agency is Not Your Identity

It sounds obvious until you’re in too deep. Until you’re the one staying up at night refreshing your email. Or doubting your self-worth because a proposal didn’t land. Or burning out because you feel like the only person who can keep everything afloat.

When I ran my own agency, I loved what we were building. I believed in it. And I felt immense pride in the brand, the work, and the team.

But what I didn’t realise, until much later, was just how much my identity had become tangled up in the business.

The success of the agency = the success of me.

The stress of the agency = the emotional load I carried.

And the longer I sat in that, the harder it became to see where I ended and the business began.

Breaking up with your business identity

It’s completely understandable. In the early stages of running an agency, you’re doing everything. It’s all so personal. Your name might even be on the logo. The values are yours. The clients were won through your relationships. The culture stems from how you like to work.

But what starts as passion can turn into pressure

-  You stop being able to see the business clearly, because it feels like any challenge is a reflection of you.

-  You avoid taking bold decisions because, if it fails, what does that say about you?

-   You don’t take a proper break, because stepping back feels like letting people down, or worse, losing control.

But over time, it can quietly sabotage both you and the business.

Create Space Between You and the Business

If you’re reading this and feeling a bit seen, first of all, you're not alone. So many founders hit this wall, often without realising it. The good news is, there is a way through.

1.       It starts with awareness.

Simply noticing how much your emotions rise and fall with the fortunes of the business is a powerful first step. The next part is allowing yourself to imagine the agency as something separate from you. That doesn’t mean caring less, it means trusting that it can exist without being entirely driven by your personal highs and lows.

2.       Redefine your role

You don’t have to do it all. You shouldn't. Start by writing down what only you can do, and be honest. Everything else is up for discussion. Can it be delegated? Systemised? Shared? Then think about what you really love doing, the beauty of running your own business is that you get to create your own job spec after all!

3.       Setting boundaries

As founders, we’re terrible at them, especially if we’re working from home or always “just checking in.” But boundaries aren’t barriers - they’re buffers. Start small: no client Slack messages after 6pm. No working weekends unless it’s a conscious choice. Block non-negotiable time in your week for you, whether that’s a gym class, a walk, or a guilt-free nap. The business will survive. And you’ll show up better when you return. It will also model the behaviour you should expect from your team too. 

4.       Move from reactive to intentional leadership.

When your identity is tightly tied to the business, you often live in response mode, firefighting, saying yes to things out of fear, clinging to control. But when you create a bit of space, you can make decisions based on where you want to go, not just what’s shouting loudest today. That might mean changing your positioning, redefining success, or even saying no to a “good” client that doesn’t align with your bigger vision. Set aside structured time to really work on the business rather than in it. 

5.       Share the load

You don’t need to figure all of this out alone. Speaking to a coach, mentor or advisor can be game-changing. Not because they have all the answers, but because they help you ask the right questions. They can gently call you out when you’re carrying too much, and remind you that your value doesn’t depend on how much you do or how busy you look. The will hold you accountable to those boundaries (and help you set them if needed). 

If working 1:1 with an advisor feels too formal, expensive, or just not for you (perhaps you already have a therapist!) then consider a peer group or mastermind where you can add as much value to other business owners as they can to you. You can learn so much about your own business from helping to solve others challenges too. 

Who Are You Outside of the Business?

That’s not a threat. It’s an invitation. And if that question feels confronting, you’re not alone.

When I was running my agency and raising a family, I used to think I didn’t have time for hobbies or fitness or anything that didn’t directly serve the business or the people who relied on me. It felt like a luxury I couldn’t afford.

But here’s what I learned: when you lose touch with who you are outside the business, the business ends up carrying all the weight. You stop replenishing your energy and you make decisions from a place of depletion.

Having a life outside of the agency isn’t selfish. It’s not a distraction. It’s fuel. The run that clears your head before a big pitch. The hobby that reminds you what creativity feels like when there’s no client on the other end. The friend you meet for coffee who doesn’t care what your monthly recurring revenue is. The hour you spend on the floor with your kid, completely off-grid, fully present.

These things don’t take you away from the business. They bring you back to it, clearer, calmer, and more connected.

Practice talking about yourself in new ways

When someone asks what you do, try not to start with your job title. Instead, try: - “I’m a mum who loves walking podcasts into my legs.” - “I’m a big fan of cold water swimming and helping creative businesses make braver decisions.” - “I’m learning how to rest without guilt.”

Don’t be afraid to play with this on LinkedIn and at networking events too. Don’t just share work wins, share what makes you you. The parts of your story that exist outside of client work and billable hours. The things that remind you you’re a full, layered human being, not just a founder. Because the more we practice showing up as ourselves the easier it becomes to build a business that supports rather than consumes us.

So, who are you when you're not being the founder, the fixer, the face of it all?

If you don’t know right now, that’s OK. Reconnecting with that version of yourself is part of the work that’s worth doing. For your wellbeing, yes, but also for the health and longevity of your agency too. Because your agency was never meant to be the whole story. And when you give yourself permission to be a person first, a founder second, everything changes.

And here’s the funny thing: once you loosen your grip a little, things usually start to flow more easily. The business becomes lighter. Decisions become clearer. You begin to trust your team more. And crucially, you start to find your own energy again, not just for work, but for life outside of it too.

If any of this has resonated and you’re ready to explore how to grow your agency without losing yourself in the process, I’d love to talk. This is the work I do now as a Guide at Agency Adventure, and I’d be happy to support you on your next adventure.